MASTER BEDROOM DESIGN UPDATE

We're three months into officially being in the new house and from day one the projects have been in full swing. It seems like we have so far to go (in some ways), and also like, oh my gosh we've done so much in such a short amount of time already. Trying to find the balance of we've come so far! But we have so much farther to go!

I feel like bedrooms can often go missed in a redesign because they're a space guests see less often. But I feel the opposite - we live here! It's important that this room gets some attention too. Maybe not all of the budget but certainly some thought and some strategic, affordable updates. Sharing some of the simple ways we've styled ours recently.

Our bedroom is small, so we have a queen sized bed frame and currently no official "bed" or even headboard. I used euro sized pillows to create a "faux headboard" kind of look. They are an inexpensive way to give a bed height and dimension for a fraction of the cost of an actual headboard. Plus they had cushion and texture and a nice support to sit and read.

I love the look of all white bedding. I feel like it looks classic, clean, and crisp, and you can easily switch out less expensive pillow cases if you want to update the look seasonally. Our sheets, duvet cover, pillowcase shams, and blanket are all by Boll & Branch. They make ethically made, organic, luxurious bedding. Their bedding is stunning and the quality is excellent, but even more importantly, a portion of all sales goes to end human trafficking. I cried watching the video of the non-profit they support, Not For Sale, specifically helping children escape exploitation and slavery. To say it's a worthwhile cause is an understatement. The bedding is fantastic, yes, but I really love supporting companies who are making a lasting difference.

Our pillow inserts, duvet, and mattress pad are by SLEEPHI, a Boston based bedding startup. They're on a mission to improve sleep, and have a unique "climabalance" technology for regulating temperature throughout the night. The pillows pictures are these, and are designed specifically for back and stomach sleepers. You can see they have that indent in the center, it's designed to keep the spine aligned at all angles. After sleeping on it for weeks I can attest that these are great. Use code 10SLEEPHI for 10% off everything except the comforter, which is on backorder.

A tip for bedding shopping: even though we have a queen sized bed, I buy my duvet and duvet cover in one size up (king) so that it hangs off the sides more easily and is more forgiving to share. I buy the fitted sheet in a queen, and we don't use a flat sheet (European style, and less to deal with when you make the bed), and the duvet goes right on top, with extra blankets for the winter. I run cold so I bundle up.

Things we still need: matching nightstands and some kind of lighting (considering these). We painted all walls and trim before we moved in, and there is a tiny master bath in this room (not pictured, to the right of the dresser) that needs some TLC. Again, trying to focus on all that we have done instead of all that I wish we could do. The time constraints of having a toddler and doing it all yourself make for some good lessons in waiting patiently and being content with where you're at.

Shared in partnership with Boll & Branch and SLEEPHI.

Other sources: checkered pillow cases | letters | euro pillow inserts | large art by me | small art thrifted

WHEN FLYING WITH TODDLERS GOES SOUTH

"He's doing great. I know it's hard."

We've taken Trey on many, many, plane flights during his life. Our last one was definitely the hardest.

We were flying from southern California back to Seattle, and going north the flight is almost an hour longer than going south because of the direction of the wind. We had survived the two hour flight down kind of ok, there were tense moments, but nothing too crazy or unmanageable. Until yesterday. We had a three hour flight ahead of us, right in the middle of nap time, after a full weekend seeing lots of family, immediately following a two hour road trip, and Trey had been sick. The cards were already stacked against us.

We tried every trick in the book: magnets, stickers, the tablet, snacks, snacks, snacks, all the things we brought that entertained him (mostly) on the way down. (There is a great post on Instagram here where other moms shared what worked for them.) He was not having any of it.

Trey is a generally easy going kid. We haven't really dealt with extreme tantrums or screaming, and we've never had to leave a store or restaurant early, or even anywhere with him and us in publicly in tears. Maybe because we were so far out of our league, but at one point before we took off Daniel and I looked at each other and exchanged that glance that can only mean one thing: HELP. We didn't know what to do, and were drowning like we've never drowned before.

There was screaming. There was kicking. There was crying. There was so, much, crying.

There were moments of peace too, and the second half of the flight was easier than the first, but overall, it was kind of a nightmare.

Our one saving grace was, the passengers seated all around us were some of the kindest people we could have possibly had as neighbors. When we'd walk the aisles with Trey they'd smile and wave, the people behind us were playing peekaboo with him, the woman to our left told us she had four kids and flew with them many times. I've found that people, for the most part, get it. We were doing the best we could.

At one point the woman behind me leaned over her seat and said "He's doing great. I know it's hard," at which point I started crying. It was so, exhaustingly, hard, and to have someone see that and recognize that and verbally encourage me was just what I needed in that moment. She could have just as easily been annoyed. But she was the reverse. It was almost too much kindness to handle.

Flying with kids, like all of motherhood, is unpredictable. The things that I've found that help me the most are connecting with other moms (our text thread is my lifeline), having grace with myself, and wine. Lots of wine.

This is not a post about what to pack to have a quiet, painless, flight. This is a post about what to do when everything goes wrong and you're left staring at your spouse (or yourself), out of all your tricks, exhausted and spent, and needing a little encouragement.

They're doing great. I know it's hard.

Chances are, someone else has been there too. Toddlers can stretch us beyond what we thought we were capable of. But then we do it. And we do it again. And then someday down the road you get to be on the other side, encouraging a young mom, "They're doing great. I know it's hard." Because you do. You know it's hard, and that mom is doing the best she can. And just like that, the plane lands. They turn five. They can tie their own shoes. And then someday they're out of the house and you're wondering where all those years went.

The longest/shortest time, for sure.

I was asked to share the list of the items suggested to make flying easier. These are some of the things that worked as activities for us, mostly on the flight down:

-Paint with water reusable books like this

-Stickers. Tons

-Magnets in a tin

-Target dollar section toys and games

-Photos and videos of our trip and our family members (right now the videos where Trey knows the people in them are more fun for him than a TV episode)

-Wipes easily accessible

-His own water bottle. I am so glad I packed this, we avoided so many spills by having him drink from this instead of the airplane cups. Also worth noting that while adults can't bring liquids through security, you can bring children's water/milk/juices in their water bottle or bottles through security, and their shoes can stay on too.

-So many snacks

-Lollipops for altitude change during take off/landing (or applesauce pouches and other snacks)

-Kids Tablet

-Quantity. Pack what you think you need then double it. Bonus points: Saving some toys/books for the return flight.

Didn't use but I thought was brilliant:

-Putting pipe cleaners in and out of a water bottle or old spice bottle with holes

-Wind up toys

-Window cling stickers

-Glow sticks

-Triangle crayons (they don't roll off the tray)

-Calculators

-Post It notes

-Tape

-Wrapping the toys

I had this great idea to use this suitcase that he can ride on and converts to an in-flight bed, but he had his own ideas of pushing the other rolling suitcases through the airport. We will try again when he's older. It seems like a great idea for someday.

That's my flying with toddlers advice! Basically, over-pack, over-prepare, hope for the best, and if it all goes wrong, know that someone else has been there too. The plane will land and you will get through it.

You’re doing great. I know it’s hard.

ON DESIGNING WITH KIDS

Picking a sofa was one of the hardest design choices for me so far in this house. There were seemingly endless options, combinations, deciding sofa vs. sectional, sizing, height/width/depth choices, not to mention deciding fabric on top of that.

I wanted something modern with clean lines, and that shipped fast (so many sofas I saw take 8+ weeks for production and shipping, and I didn't want to wait that long).

I found a selection of in-stock, mid-century modern sofas at Rove Concepts, a small company out of Canada. They were great to work with and sent me multiple fabric samples so I could see the colors in person, which I totally recommend if you are buying online. It's nice to see and feel the fabrics before you buy. The customer service team was super responsive and answered all my questions about double rub count and durability.

I polled my stories to ask which was the best fabric to choose with kids and got a variety of answers. Initially I was thinking I'd go with leather, since I liked the wipe-ability of it, but had also heard from friends that it scratched easily, or it was cold, and I wanted something that felt warm and cozy. Our floors are also a really rich warm tone and I wanted a little more contrast in color there.

I went back and forth forever, but ultimately, when with what I liked. Yes, the fabric is light, and yes, it might stain. But, this happens to be a very durable fabric (30,000 double rub count) and if something happens, there are stain treatments, and life will go on. I decided I don't want to design a house that's kid proof but I don't like looking at everyday. I want to LOVE the space I'm in. I want to design it for how I want it to look everyday, not in case of what happens someday.

I love it. It's extremely comfortable, fits the space perfectly, and is the right mix of polished and modern. The fabric lightens up the room, especially for Seattle's dark winters, and the polished stainless steel legs are a nice contrast to all the wood tones in our house.

Next up for this room: a rug that fits, possibly a tufted square ottoman/coffee table, reupholster a chair, and more seating. One thing at a time. It's hard to not focus on everything that hasn't been done yet, and forget all that's already happened. Even the layout takes time. We rearranged this room recently and it's amazing to see how one small tweak can really made such a difference. We're slowly making this house our home.

Sofa decision, check! It's already gotten lots of use.

A good reminder to design your house for YOU and not for Pinterest, your neighbor's house, your older kids, or anything else other than you life right now and what you like.

You'll be glad you did.

Sofa style is Nico in Arctic Grey Modern Tweed. Thank you to Rove Concepts for partnering with me on this post.